Fear Comes in Many Forms

I had two very different dreams last night. The first was all about my boyfriend and I. We were staying in his uncle's mansion without him knowing. Firstly, it was easy because he was never home. Secondly, it was easy because it was like three houses in one. There were three master bedrooms, three living rooms, three kitchens, three dining rooms, a bunch of bedrooms and a bunch of bathrooms. It was all very empty and most of the walls were white, so that kind of bothered me, but it was still beautiful.

One day while my boyfriend and I were swimming, his uncle came home with his son and girlfriend. My boyfriend and I scrambled to sneak inside through one of our windows. We knew they had seen us, but they didn't know who we were. We sprinted through the house, around a corner, into our section, and into a dark closet in an empty bedroom. Somehow his uncle kept up and found us. I was terrified, but it turned out fine. He told us we were allowed to live there. He would even buy us furniture. He just wished we had come to him when we started having financial trouble. I woke up after that. Now I'm left wishing he could be that easy on us in real life...

I did fall back asleep to another dream that had nothing to do with the first. I was back in high school (which was located at my elementary school) and I was stuck in the IB Program my Senior year. It started the night before my last day. I was sitting at the kitchen table, putting the finishing touches on the paper that was due in history and the presentation that was due in science. The paper was perfect, all I had to do was print it out and put it in it's folder. I did so and moved on to the presentation. My PowerPoint was done, my notes were done, I planned out everything I was going to say. All I had to do what write it out on note cards. I did that and then the dream jumped forward to me at school, in class.

At some point during the jump, I had decided to take a different bag to school. In the process of changing them out, I forgot my laptop and my folder. All I had with me was my old notes, my old PowerPoint, and no paper whatsoever. I had history first and the teacher said he would accept my paper later, I just had to talk to him at the end of the day. I promised I would and headed to science. 

For my PowerPoint, I had everything saved in pieces on my student drive. In between presentations, I was putting mine together. The teacher was pissed when he finally noticed that I had come unprepared and told me that I was going to go next. Luckily, I had just finished putting it all together. The transitions weren't up to my standards, but the information was all there. The dream skipped over the presentation and put me at the back of the room, next to my science teacher with my history teacher nearby observing.

I was watching the second to last presentation when my history teacher gathered his thing to leave. I whispered to him and asked where he was going. He told me he was going home. I started to panic and asked if we could talk. He told me I had to stay in class and I was too late. He would never accept my paper. He left and I started to have a panic attack. I grabbed my folder and went through everything inside it, throwing anything that wasn't my paper on the floor. When the folder was empty and it's entire contents on the floor, I began to sob hysterically. I couldn't breathe and everyone was just staring at me. The teacher tried to calm me down, but couldn't. I was hurt that he didn't care my entire future was based on this, terrified that I had just messed up everything, and totally embarrassed that I had an audience for these feelings. When I couldn't stand it anymore, I woke myself up.