Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Too Sad

I'm a little fuzzy on this dream... My emotional memory is working better than my episodic memory right now... So I remember very well just how sad it was... My insides are still aching because of it... I very vaguely remember the actual content... Here's what I remember:
My boyfriend and I were on this cruise ship and we decided to go to a movie on it. They had a big theater and it was very crowded. There weren't any chairs, though. We all just sat on the floor. We snuggled up together and befriended a group of kids younger than us. My boyfriend got really attached to this little girl. She was the sweetest, smartest, cutest little kid I have ever met. My boyfriend and I were both in love with her, but she really took a liking to him too. They had a special bond to one another. 
A few days went by where we just hung around and watched movies. I would sit on his right side and she on his left and her and I would hold hands and rest them on his lap. The days were beautiful and filled with nothing but happiness.
One day, the compartment of the theater filled with water... The theater was on the very bottom of the ship so when the floor sprung a leak it opened up to be a big hole. Anyone who was trapped in the flooding was sucked out and spewed to the bottom of the ocean. Just that happened to our little girl and about a dozen other kids. Somehow we had made it out without her and it was devastating, especially for my boyfriend... Somewhat miraculously, the people on the ship were able to push out the water so we could go back down there to watch movies, but the hole was still there... My boyfriend had to go find her body... So he dove down the hole and into the ocean... When he would come up for air I would beg and scream for him to come out... When he would go back down I would scream in pain and anguish and cry my eyes out... But he wouldn't listen to me... For days he wouldn't eat, sleep, or rest... He just kept diving down... Eventually he wouldn't even look for her... He would just sink down and stay still underwater, trying to block out the real world so he could pretend like he was still with her...
After a few days of this I couldn't take it anymore... The pain was too much and I couldn't bar the thought of watching him di down there too... I waved my hand in the top of the water to get his attention... He came up to the surface and I grabbed him by his shirt collar and pulled him out... He didn't struggle... When I got him out he just collapsed on top of me... We were both so exhausted... 
I begged him to not leave me anymore... I told him how unfair he was being to me to leave me alone like that... I told him he still had me and always would... I told him I love him more than anything... I told him that I need him... He lifted up his head just enough to look into my eyes... He paused for a moment, then gave me one long, slow, utterly defeated kiss... I wrapped my arms around him so tightly... Then I woke up...

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